I had no idea I was a perfectionist. I actually felt like I was quite the opposite my entire life. So imagine my surprise when I realized I was not immune from perfectionism! I went from the fast action taking bliss of naivety to one of analyzing my every move. It was the most counterproductive phase of my life and I’m sharing all about it on today’s episode! Want to learn how to avoid analysis paralysis? Listen in!
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Read the full unformatted/unedited transcript here:
[showhide type=”post” more_text=”Show more…” less_text=”Show less…”]hey everybody welcome back to the marvelous podcast it’s me Kirsten super stoked to have you today can’t wait to talk about this guess what that’s what no really though I I was just sitting here talking to ben about how today I started to finally just get myself in action get myself in motion and there’s so many times that I have millions of ideas I mean stuff comes to me all the time people say things like I wish my brain worked the way yours worked uh how do you come up with this stuff all the time that’s that’s usually the response that I met with because I have a million and one ideas now if you’ve been with me for a really long time if you’ve listened since episode number one you’ll remember that back in the very beginning I was talking a lot about becoming a millionaire and I had a mentor that said there are million ways to make a million dollars but if you try to do them all you won’t make any money now this isn’t about money this episode is not about that but it reminds me of like if you try to do everything all the time you’re gonna end up in a state of analysis paralysis you’re gonna not do anything at all and all of those great ideas are going to be worthless if you don’t take action with them there are multiple stages to progress to growing and advancing in the things that are important to you and I used to be really really good at taking fast action and not getting stuck in my mind and it was kind of like this blissful naivete where I didn’t know any different I didn’t know the rules of social media I didn’t know the rules of business I was such a newbie that nothing really got to me and I didn’t have haters and I didn’t have people who were out to destroy me and I didn’t have any agenda aside from I just want to help people I just want to get out there and do the dang thing and there’s a wisdom that comes after you experience those you know things of people wanting to drag you down people being jealous people um just leaving mean comments and whatever comes your way like and even just aside from other people your your own failures the things that you’ve tried the things that you’ve attempted to do that just have not panned out there are so many different growth experiences that come from having those moments they’re important and it would be great if we could stay in it in an ignorance is bliss state all the time and not ever be impacted by negative experiences but that’s just how the cookie crumbles that’s that’s how it works but at the same time I feel like we can give ourselves this favor of turning the little brainwave switch off and allowing ourselves to just do because before all of those stories came to me the stories I was choosing to believe in the stories I was choosing to listen to were the ones of my own ambition and my own excitement and all of the inspiration that I was feeling over what I was going to be able to help people to accomplish in their lives and so there was really no prejudgment on the content I created it was just go and do right like just show up just do it and I miss that because lately I have found myself in a state of extreme analysis paralysis and I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time the last episode on here I talked a lot about you know the ocean and the waves and getting out into the deep part of the water and I think there’s so many more places I want to go with that analogy because after I ended I had so many other thoughts but part of what led to that was like man I’m just so tired of seeing myself fall into this rut of having so many ideas and so much inspiration flow through me and not taking action on it I’m so tired of being in the shallow but knowing what’s in the deep water and so I’m I’m trying to break out of this for myself I’m trying to get myself into the state of being able to move forward in the same way that I did before I had all of these other layers of of stories and failure and expectation and rules into a state of just pure creation and one of the things that is helping me through this is to remember the notion that it’s not about you it’s about them and I think a lot of times when we get into content creation the reason that we stop but the reason we don’t do things is because we are focusing so much about what will this mean for me when you’re in a state of pure service when you’re giving to others when you’re showing up a million percent you don’t have time to care about yourself you just don’t you don’t care if people are judging you you don’t care you don’t even realize you don’t think about or wonder if people are judging you like I remember functioning in my business literally and it wasn’t this like ego trip of like nobody doesn’t like me it was just like I didn’t it never even came up in my mind I never wondered about it I never had to be curious about like are people receiving this well what if people hate this and I think it’s also like think back to the blissful days before social media when we I don’t know how old you are listening to this but for me when I was in high school middle school we didn’t have social media we didn’t have we practically didn’t even have cell phones yet like we did not have camera phones there nothing we would go home and maybe you had an msn messenger or aol messenger and that was the only way you stayed connected but you called your friends on the phone you didn’t know what you were missing out on you didn’t know if people were talking about you you just didn’t and now we’re hyper aware of everything and not a lot stays hidden we’re just we’re so aware of people’s criticisms but I do believe it’s a choice I believe it is a conscious decision that we can make to either indulge and pay attention to those thought processes and to get caught up in our minds before we create or we can allow ourselves to let it go pause are you guys speeding up this episode I’m curious I feel like when I get really revved up and passionate I start talking fast and I’m curious if you guys can even understand me if you are a person who speeds up your podcast episodes I’m gonna try and slow myself down a little bit because we don’t need to be stressed out all the time we don’t need to overanalyze and we don’t need to have anxiety when it comes to sharing the things that we know we need to share there’s definitely a force outside of us that doesn’t want us to share the things that we are passionate about the things that we are learning and I’ve kept a lot of stuff just to myself just kind of closed in this little pandora’s box of realizations and revelations and ex you know just experiences that have taught me so much about my world and about others and about my business and in getting into the stage of being hyper aware of what other people are saying or thinking about what I’m doing it really did it paralyzed me and in many ways it broke me and I allowed my whole reality to start functioning based on how can I do this so that I don’t cause friction how can I do this to where I’m not going to offend people or I’m not going to say the wrong thing or they’re not going to think I’m an idiot how can I you know I have this tendency to always do this and this and this how can I stop doing that or you know I always I show up like this and maybe I need to be better and I need to perfect this about myself and improve this before I even do it if I can get it perfect first then then nobody will criticize me and that’s just it’s not true and so with the analysis paralysis that’s some of the reasons that we sit there and we hold on it’s this need for perfection we’re looking at every component every possible outcome and you guys the fact of the matter is nothing is a guarantee there are some things that are going to explode and they’re going to change lives and there are other things that are going to fall flat you are not going to be liked by everyone there are different strokes for different folks what I have done that I’m really disappointed in myself for is I have allowed myself to start creating content based in that judgment-free zone trying to avoid the judgment zone instead of just accepting the fact that it exists and there’s nothing I can do to change it you can’t make someone like you who doesn’t like you you can’t make someone see your side of the story if they are unwilling to see your side of the story you just can’t you can’t create content that everybody will love I have a post right now on social media that’s really really viral like it’s getting a ton of traction and it’s getting shared a lot and tons and tons of comments and it took it took a long time before I got the first negative comment but it showed up and shortly after more showed up but in the ratio of positive to negative we’re talking like probably two out of a hundred are negative compared to those that are positive so I can sit there and I can focus on like oh see maybe I shouldn’t have done this like maybe people don’t want this because there’s a couple people who don’t like it or I can move forward and say oh but there were so many people this helped there were so many people that that enjoyed this piece of content that are um learning from it and having fun with it so that’s kind of the main reason I think that we get stuck in this not moving forward and over analyzing everything we do I never ever it never ever resonated with me like perfectionism I never saw myself as a perfectionist I felt like I was the opposite of that and here’s what happened I was fine with just throwing things out there and kind of fixing things as I went and just making messes and failing fast and just going for it I was fine with that it was working for me until I started allowing the voices of other people to tell me well you know a better way to would be to plan it this way and to to put more forethought into it and to slow down and do it the way I would do it and you know and then I started being like oh maybe maybe I would help more people if I did it other people’s way maybe maybe I am not you know doing the very best work that I can and maybe I should slow down maybe I should be more intentional and maybe I should plan more so I went to the opposite end of the spectrum I jumped right off from this great wonderful point of constantly creating and constantly you know showing up and taking action and I went into this almost hibernation mode where I was like oh I I need to be a lot more thoughtful I need to plan better I need to be more organized I’ve got to have my life together before I can take action and it was a really weird time it’s been a really weird time it’s been a foreign territory for me some really positive things came out of it to where I feel like my life has a lot more order to it and I’m so grateful for that and I do want to do some episodes on finding order in your disorder but where it started to hinder my growth and where it got in the way is I was like I feel like I’m going to come out of my skin like I’m my skin’s crawling and I feel like even though this is supposed to be good and there’s a lot less chaos in my life I I miss the motion I don’t miss the chaos right like you know we can get addicted to emotions we can get addicted to drama and by the way the people who say I hate drama are usually the ones who are addicted to drama the most just pay attention to that the people are like girls are the worst girls are so dramatic are usually some of the most dramatic people that you will ever encounter and they thrive on it um but we do that we’re addicted to these feelings so we get addicted you know how I talked about the ocean and the waves we get addicted to the high the thrill uh just the challenge and so even as a business owner there’s gonna be times where because you’re so familiar with it’s not like it’s fun not like you enjoy it but because you’re familiar with the beginning phase of launching something and the creation phase you will find a reason to keep coming back to it and that’s what I’ve done I have created so many different digital programs and different approaches to my business this year and the reason I’m having to be very very hyper aware of like oh I’m I’m pulling away from the next stage because I’m addicted to the chaos and I’m gonna I’m an addicted I’m ed I’m not an addicted I am addicted to this stage and this emotion and this feeling and it’s safe even though it’s not making my life better it’s it’s safe because it’s familiar and so we do that we do that all the time in different things in our business in our life where we are trying to stay in that safety net and we are trying to avoid the friction but you guys the friction is where the lessons are learned and the friction is a choice too the friction is a choice you can choose to make something harder than it really is you can choose to be like oh man I need to dwell and I need to focus on this and I need to write this for days in my journal I have to read all the books about it you can choose to make things an issue or a non-issue now that’s different from like escaping your problems and not working through your feelings that’s important too but you choose whether to see movement as friction and whether to see it as a necessary part of just getting to the next step for me I was viewing the friction as such a detriment instead of what it was which is actually the thing that usually moved me into really really great spaces and opened up my network and allowed me to work with really cool people and allowed me to share things and I feel like this episode has just gone to a totally different place but the my intention was starting this was you cannot care more about yourself and your stories and your narratives than you care about the people that you are trying to help there is a reason there’s a reason inspiration is flowing to you there’s a reason you continue to hear the same prompting in your head and your heart to do something there is something in my business that I felt prompted to do for over a year and I would kind of dip my toe in and then i’d be like nope see I don’t think that’s going to be work I don’t think it’s going to work it’s not going to be worth it it’s not delivering the return on investment is just not high enough but over and over kept saying just keep doing that keep doing that I know it doesn’t make logical sense but I feel like this is what I need to do and I allowed other people’s stories to tell me no no you’re better than that you shouldn’t even waste your time on that but it felt right to me and I allowed those stories from others and those stories from within myself to pull me away and finally after a super long time I just leaned in I went all in and I was like you know what I’m done trying to control this I’m done worrying that you know if I if I do this then I’m not honoring who I’m supposed to be for other people and things started happening things started flowing and it just started making a huge huge impact in our lives and in our business so if you are in the zone or I should say not in the zone if you are overthinking every single step that you’re about to take and now I feel like you know this is a blessing that I went through this because before when I was like this severe action taker and I never held back and I was fearless I didn’t understand the analysis paralysis I was like what’s your problem what are you waiting for what do you mean you’re a perfectionist and I guess now I have a little bit more compassion and a little bit more understanding because I was in that space for a really long time to the point where I could make plans I could make plans for all the content I was going to create for the podcast for social media but none of it got done like it was it was really really uncomfortable for me to just do something and I always felt better you know how you dread things and then you finally do it you’re like why did I make that such a big deal it was like really not hard that’s how it is every single time I go to create but there is so much goodness and there are so many gifts and talents that we all have to offer and as we strengthen each other then we strengthen the whole world right we can make these ripple effects effects we can make an impact on other people and if you are allowing that fear of not being perfect or fear of judgment to get in the way and hold you back then you are holding back something amazing from people who need your light they need your knowledge and they need everything that you have to offer so hopefully this is gonna you know kind of help open your eyes a little bit to say yeah oh yeah I’m I’m holding back and I am afraid of being judged guys people are to judge you no matter what they’re going to judge you no matter what you can allow that to back you into a corner and make you feel terrified of ever showing your face in public on social media again or you can accept it for what it is you’re judging everybody too every minute of every day you’re making decisions you’re evaluating whether you like something or you don’t like something or like someone or don’t like someone whether they match your energy or they don’t whether you are you know going to join their tribe or not so stop thinking that you’re special you are special but you’re not special in the fact that you are immune from the judgment you are immune from perfection you don’t have to be perfect before you put it out there and you don’t have to worry what everybody else is gonna say okay this is your permission and this is me encouraging you from one paralyzed and fear perfectionist to another just take action I promise you that the action is where the magic happens it’s where experiences and opportunities are born you know luck is when preparation meets opportunity if you’re not preparing and you’re not in the habit of showing up and sharing and taking action then when those golden opportunities present themselves you’re going to miss them they’re going to fly right over your head they will I promise I’ve seen it happen for myself and I’ve seen it happen for other people okay so let’s talk about this um in action taking and creating content and then I’m gonna segue right into this here we go um I created a really I think really really amazing program and I it’s kind of one of those things I was like durr why didn’t I think of this sooner I have really been trying to um I love education and I love teaching people different things and I’ve I’ve focused on maybe it’s this element that I’m really good at or maybe it’s this element that I’m really good at maybe I should help people with that because I know how to do that I can help them with this so if you’ve listened you know I’ve had a couple of different things that I have put out there this year uh and I’m gonna just say this right now that I can allow myself to be afraid to tell you what it is because I’m allowing myself to buy into the story of like oh my gosh here she goes again and I never stick to my choices or I can silence that and I can say I don’t care what I’ve done in the past because that’s over and right now this is what I’m doing and this feels like I’m in alignment so that being said uh you may have heard me talk about this program before but it is revamped and it is exactly what it was meant to be in the beginning before I allowed all the layers to be stripped away now they’re stripped away now I know exactly what it is that I can help you with and I am relaunching the social sales formula it’s a 37 program y’all it is loaded with information on how I create sales campaigns sales content this isn’t a content creation calendar this isn’t prompt for social media this is like my exact process and system that’s helped me to create viral content that’s helped me to build an entire business around affiliate marketing so if you are selling products that you love if you are working as a brand ambassador as an affiliate marketer a direct seller basically you’re selling anything and you are trying to do it better on social media then you guys need to check out the social sales formula it is gonna give you the empowerment and the education you need to take action and to not just create and not just do fluffy content but to do sales content so if you’re a business owner if you’re using social media to sell go check it out right now just go to KirstenTyrrel.com forward slash social sales formula and I’m super excited to help you guys get started again it’s super inexpensive but it is really powerful and I don’t know why it took me so long to identify this is my system this is my formula and now it’s really concise and it’s really really accessible okay thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode you are amazing and I’m so grateful for everyone in this community I hope you’re having a beautiful day a beautiful week a beautiful month and we’ll see you on the next episode have a marvelous day. 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